I don't think brook has ever known best
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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