I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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