okay pat passed out under dana's car
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize