thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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