I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
