Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
