We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
