I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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