All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
