So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
