I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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