I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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