he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We left an ass print on the piano.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
