His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He? As in you personified your dick?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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