Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
