Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I bet he comes in French.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
