They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
