so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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