I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
