I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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