Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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