I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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