I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize