i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
