When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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