Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
