If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My life is pants optional.
Randomize