Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
