All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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