just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i think i have herpe
just one?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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