Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The adults are the big ones right?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
