I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
