Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
