well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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