My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
