I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
