then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
