so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Mom said you looked used
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
