You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
