when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I understand Curling. That high.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
