he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
