I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
this will be a night to untag.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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