guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
