so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I wish i was in the wii world.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Shame is for Republicans.
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