Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
cat food counts as protein by the way
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
