weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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