why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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