I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
