She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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