The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
