would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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