I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's shark week go big or go home
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
