So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
