Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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