tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
