did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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