He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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