I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
