Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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