he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
