It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
