Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize