i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
