I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
